My Husband's Story

Demelza wanted you to read the birth partner’s perspective so now I’ll tell the story from the dad angle. 

After the birth of our daughter, looking back on when Demelza was pregnant with our son, we now realise we were sooo under prepared! We were just going through the motions, following the advice, attending appointments/scans and antenatal sessions and slowly plodding through 9 months of anticipation, waiting for the imminent arrival of our little baby. Demelza was very worried about all things labour and I was a typical laid-back male who applied my life’s motto ‘it’ll be alright’.

Before we knew it, waters had broken and we were on the final leg of the journey towards meeting our new baby. Our little boy was born the following day after a slow labour and an unplanned caesarean and I was nothing short of shell shocked. At that moment, driving back from Exeter to get a bit of kip before heading back to hospital, I decided I did not want to have another child. That was quite a big thing as I’d always assumed and hoped we’d have 2 kids.

Newborn baby asleep in father's arms

Skip forward about 2 years and Demelza wanted a second child! I didn’t say ‘no’ but deep down I was petrified. 10 months later, we get the 2 blue lines and away we go again. “I want to try for a VBAC.” Demelza said. To which my only response could be “a what?” (Vaginal Birth After Caesarean). And there we enter the world of hypnobirthing! At the time, to me, it was a load of old mumbo jumbo, discussed by spaced out women that walk around with flowers in their hair and hug the odd tree.

How wrong I was!

Newborn baby asleep after positive, calm and gentle birth

Then, before we knew it, the evening came and there we were again! Demelza’s waters broke and I started to do all the man things, trying to make myself look completely organised and on top of the situation even though in my head I was shouting ‘sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, here we go again’.  Demelza, however, transformed. She was on her birthing ball, app running in the background, TENS machine on, breathing through her surges and I was blown away.

We left home and headed to the hospital about 2 ½ hours later and everything was going so well that when we reached the labour ward, we were told there was no point in filling the birthing pool as baby was on its way. I gave the midwives our birthing preferences and prepared for a fight however they were really supportive. All this time, Demelza was so in control – it was unnerving but awesome to witness at the same time.

I watched our baby girl being born with no pain relief, no stress, and no screaming! It was such an amazing experience; my first thought was ‘we could have another!’

To sum up the whole experience, I would have to say – it was surreal. I look back and can’t believe how different the births of our two children were – they were on the opposite ends of the spectrum of what a birth can be.

I found a new found respect for my wife, such a sense of pride and profound love that it’s hard to put into words and I can safely say I went from being a sceptic to a full-blown hypnobirthing convert.

If you choose to or have already decided to follow this course, I can honestly say you will find it interesting, heart-warming and amazing. The most important thing, in my mind, is that you will go into this process feeling prepared and informed which paves the way for an overwhelmingly fabulous and positive birth.


(delivered via Zoom)

Get In Touch

Demelza Sayers - KGHypnobirthing Consultant
Tel: 07961 898215

Hypnobirthing classes in Cornwall and Devon or online via Zoom