Becoming a mother is a profound transition. As well as recovering from birth, you’re learning how to care for a tiny human who depends on you for everything. At the same time, your body is navigating huge hormonal shifts unlike anything you may have experienced before. Your identity may feel as though it has shifted too, and it’s completely normal to feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and unsure as you find your way. You will have stepped into an entirely new stage of life, a transition many experts call matrescence – the process of becoming a mother.
Motherhood can be wonderful but it can also be exhausting, and challenging at times too. So what can you do during pregnancy to help make the transition to motherhood a little gentler?
Build a support network
You might be very fortunate to already have a group of friends who are in the same stage of life as you with small children or those who are also pregnant. It’s a good idea to surround yourself with people who get it, who understand what you’re going through, so you can be a support to each other. People say ‘It takes a village to raise a baby’ but it’s not just the baby who needs the village – the mum does too! Join pregnancy classes, attend an in-person, local antenatal course, or join social media communities to help you build these connections.
Batch cook
Cook as much as you can before you give birth and freeze meals so they can be reheated when you just can’t find the energy.
Get outside
Get some fresh air, go for a stroll and reduce your cortisol levels. Even if you don’t really feel like it, being out in nature can do wonders for your physical and mental wellbeing – both when you’re pregnant and after the baby has arrived. Remember not to do anything too strenuous during those early weeks after birth though!
Lower the bar (really low)
In the early weeks, your only real priorities are healing, feeding your baby, and resting when you can. The house might be messy. Laundry may pile up. You might spend entire days in pyjamas. That’s not failure, that’s normal. It’s not always easy but try to give yourself permission to let go of expectations and focus on what truly matters in that moment (something I wish I had been better at doing!).
Accept help
As a mother, it’s easy to feel that we should be capable of doing everything. I know this is how I felt when I first became a mum. Accepting help isn’t a form of failure and lightening the load can massively affect your stress levels and therefore positively impact baby too!
Help can come in the form of a family member or friend sitting with baby while you shower, having someone help with housework, seeking support with feeding, or just having someone to natter to so you can get things off your chest.
Some people like to invest in a postnatal doula to help to provide the emotional and practical support they need in these vulnerable few days and weeks after birth. If you are interested a postnatal doula, I would highly recommend Liv Rail who is based in the North Cornwall area.
Finally…
Be kind to yourself
You are learning something entirely new. There is no perfect way to mother your baby. There is only your way, and your baby will learn and grow alongside you. Some days will feel magical. Others will feel like survival mode. Both are part of the journey.
I’m Demelza.
I am a mum to 2 energetic children, an antenatal educator and former primary school teacher. I teach pregnancy relaxation classes and hypnobirthing antenatal courses to pregnant mums and their birth partners in North Cornwall and West Devon. Birth preparation courses are also available online. Explore my website to find out more about the services I offer, or get in touch if you have any questions. I would love to support you in your preparation for a gentle and positive labour and birth.
