My Story

In 2015, I fell pregnant for the first time. I was terrified of labour. I did not understand the birth process. I did not educate myself about birth. I did not know I could prepare for it. I tried not to think about the inevitable trauma (as I believed it would be) and birth preparation was far from my mind. When labour began, at 40 weeks, I panicked. Looking back, I realise the decisions I made and my behaviours during labour could very well have hindered the natural birth process. My son ended up being born via an unplanned caesarean and I felt like I had failed at birth. Of course, having a caesarean does not mean failure – we are very fortunate that caesareans are an option if needed. I just always felt that things could have been different for me. When I fell pregnant with my daughter just over 2 years later, I desperately wanted a natural birth and wanted to do everything I could to make this possible. I had heard of hypnobirthing and when I began to read more about it, I was confident this could help me achieve a more positive birth experience.

As my pregnancy progressed, I was mindful that the majority of babies come after 40 weeks and knowing the baby would come when it was ready, I tried to keep myself calm and relaxed. I filled my days on maternity leave doing things I enjoyed and I very much focused on the birth I hoped to achieve. My husband and I discussed my birth preferences in the later weeks of my pregnancy and, although he was still unsure if my birth preparation would have a positive impact on my labour, he was fully supportive, and we listened to relaxations together at bedtime in the final few weeks.

As it turns out, our daughter decided she was ready to enter the world 2 days ‘early’ and that evening, after putting our son to bed, my waters began to trickle. Once my surges/contractions started, my husband said the change he saw in me surprised him immensely. Instead of the panic and tension observed during a surge in my first labour, I was calm, and through focusing on my breathing, I was able to go into a relaxed little bubble until it passed. I was managing each surge so well at home that we didn’t rush to hospital and it wasn’t until reaching the labour ward that I realised how imminent my daughter’s arrival was. Although I had hoped for a water birth, it wasn’t to be. I gave birth just half an hour after arriving in the hospital room, with no pain relief and my husband by my side. I still feel emotional when I think about my daughter’s birth, even years later because it had such a profound impact.